So you’re engaged. Congratulations! I hope you’ve been able to take some time to just enjoy being engaged before turning to wedding planning. If not, consider it! 

Introduction

I hear this all the time: “where do I start with wedding planning?”

I’m going to level with you. Wedding planning is incredibly detailed and stressful. Doing it all on your own is not really something I recommend. When you’re not familiar with the wedding industry, you may end up spending money where you don’t need to, and/or skimping where you really need to spend to get the results you want. It’s also easy to get caught up in the excitement of it all and spend everything you have available before you’ve gotten what you need. 

Your top priorities

The three things you really need to focus on first are your overall vision, your guest list, and your budget. I can’t stress this enough – your wedding vision and your guest list are what determine how much it will cost to fund your wedding. Your wedding vision will influence how much you spend. Your guest list dramatically impacts how much things cost overall. And finally, your finances, of course, determine what you have available to put toward your wedding.  

Your wedding vision

What comes to mind when you dream about your wedding? Do you have your heart set on a particular setting or venue? Or are flowers and decor your top priority? It helps a lot to list your must haves, and to prioritize them, before starting to look around at options. You and your partner should each do this separately, and then set your priorities as a couple. 

When working on the above exercise, make sure you think about your history as a couple, as well as your lifestyle. Not everyone wants a fancy ballroom wedding, after all. If you both love to travel, you could consider a destination wedding, or simply bring in elements of your favorite places to visit.  If you both love the great outdoors, consider having an outdoor wedding! (Just make sure you have a backup plan for inclement weather.)

I take my clients through an extensive process to set their wedding vision. We look at how they want the day to feel, how to evoke that with their color palette, their favorite fashion, interiors, and lifestyle influences, and their spending priorities, among other things. So if you’re considering hiring a planner, please reach out to me! I’d love the chance to show you how I can help bring your vision to life. 

Your guest list

How many people do you and your partner plan to invite to your wedding? Many couples don’t think enough about this. Venues only hold so many people – and if you are adding in things like lounge seating, food stations, or other activities besides dancing, the venue will hold fewer guests than their literature says. One local venue doesn’t even account for a dance floor when they state how many guests they can accommodate! Are you going to need a dance floor? I’m guessing yes. 

Your guest list also impacts your decorations – a lot! The more people you invite, the more tables you need. If you’re renting chairs, linens, plates, flatware, and/or glassware, the more guests you have, the higher those bills will be too. You’ll also need more centerpieces. And, of course, the more guests you invite, the higher your catering and bar totals will rise.

Keep in mind, not everyone the two of you (and your parents) know needs to be invited to your wedding! You’ll want to invite close family and friends, of course, but every additional guest requires that you add a minimum of a few hundred dollars to your wedding budget. Just something to keep in mind. 

Your wedding budget

Your joint income (and perhaps those of your parents) will, to a large extent, determine what you can spend on your wedding. I would encourage you to consider how much you can comfortably save each month by cutting out unnecessary spending. Add to that any money you can raise by working extra shifts, taking on a temporary part-time job, or selling unneeded items, plus some of your savings. A lot of people will tell you not to put your wedding on credit. I’m not sure that’s realistic any more. Don’t go into significant debt to get married, though! Keep your wedding debt to something you can pay off comfortably within the next year. 

If one or both of you is fortunate enough to have family members willing to assist with your wedding funds, that’s great! You may have more luck in this area if you negotiate with loved ones to assist by funding a particular expense (say, catering)  rather than them just donating toward the cause. Also, consider whether they expect to have input into the decisions being made regarding those expenses. If Aunt Martha will pay for the florals, but only if you stick with her favorite roses and carnations, you may decide the assistance isn’t worth it!

Whatever you do, don’t splurge on one item before having a clear idea what it will cost to reserve the other services that you need. It’s very easy to end up not having enough left over to create the wedding you want. You’ll end up happier with your wedding spending if you decide what it is that you want first and price it out. That way, you can reevaluate if necessary. Then, once you’re sure you can afford everything, go ahead and sign your contracts. 

Conclusion

I hope you found some practical advice here about that common question, “where do I start with wedding planning?” – especially if you’re planning on your own! And if you choose to plan your own wedding, be sure to reach out about 6 months before the big day to explore having Buttercup Celebrations handle the wedding management for you. Neither you nor your guests should be worrying about how things are going to flow on the big day – that’s what we’re here for!

If you’ve decided to let someone else help you with wedding planning and design, don’t wait too long to reach out. Twelve-plus months is ideal to ensure we have enough time to create the wedding of your dreams (though we’ve certainly made clients happy in less time than that). We would love to bring your wedding to life!