So you’re newly engaged. Congratulations! You may have people telling you you “absolutely have to” do many things, from choosing your colors to sending out save the dates. (?) Please, before you start getting overwhelmed, take a look at my tips below. Some things should be done soon, but there are others you can wait on without consequences.

5 things you need to do right away:

Tell your loved ones – in person or by phone

Seriously. If you’re at all close to your parents, tell them in person! You deserve to see the looks on their faces, and vice versa. If you’re fortunate enough to have siblings and grandparents, tell them vocally as well. You may never use that phone as an actual telephone, but this is one time you want to do so. No matter how cool your grandparents are, and even if they’re active on social media, trust me – this is something they want to hear from you, audibly.

Insure the ring

I know it’s not terribly romantic. But think about the consequences if you don’t do it and something happens. My cousin lost her engagement ring – before it was insured. True story. Don’t let this happen to you! You have a couple of options here: your homeowner’s/renter’s insurance company, or a dedicated jewelry insurer like Jewelers Mutual or GemShield.

Sit down for a budget discussion

This is going to be sobering – weddings are *very* expensive. Decide together how much the two of you can afford to allocate to your wedding over the coming months, and from what sources. Is a side gig an option for one or both of you? If you’re close to your parents, talk with them or significant family members about what, if anything, they might be willing to contribute. They may give you a dollar amount, or some prefer to pay for designated items, such as catering.

Keep planning those date nights

Date nights are still important! Also, once the wedding planning begins in earnest, make date nights a wedding-talk-free zone. Wedding talk can take over EVERYthing if you let it, and it isn’t always good for your relationship. Your upcoming marriage is more important than your wedding, and letting the wedding talk slide for a while will help you keep your relationship health good. 

Write down your love story

Yes, really! Include how you met, when it got serious, how each of you knew it was love, who proposed and how. Also include the less obvious: places that are special to the two of you, foods that remind you of significant events, family traditions you want to continue, values that you share as a couple, activities you enjoy together. You may choose to incorporate some of these elements into wedding planning, such as in your ceremony. Even if you don’t, it would make a beautiful addition to your wedding album.

5 things that can wait

Telling everyone you know over social media

I mean, of course you’re excited. You should be! But be sure you’ve told everyone you want to individually before you make the announcement on social media. Once you do this, you can’t take it back.

Start wedding planning right away

Take at least a couple of weeks just to bask in the joy of being engaged and everyone else’s well wishes. Unless you’re planning on being married within a couple of months, wedding planning doesn’t need to start right away.

Set a wedding date

You need to decide on a year and season, tops. Anything more will limit your venue options. Besides, until you’ve booked a venue, you don’t really have a wedding date.

Choose your wedding party

Especially if you’re postponing getting married for more than a year, relationships change. You can wait on this one for a while. And when you do start making decisions, consider carefully whether each person will make your wedding planning time easier, or harder. You need those in your wedding party to be willing to go the extra mile for you if necessary!

Invite everyone you know

You need to make the important decisions first, and the number of people you invite has a direct connection to the cost of your wedding. And don’t invite anyone out of guilt or obligation. If you have a relative or friend who causes stress or drama in your life now, the wedding will just magnify it. This day belongs to the two of you alone.

I hope you’ve lost what stress you may have been feeling to take care of things quickly because you’re engaged. You have plenty of time to take care of those tasks that are important, and then you should do nothing but enjoy being engaged for a little while. Once you’re ready to begin planning your wedding, contact me at rebecca@buttercupcelebrations.com. I’d love to help you plan the wedding of a lifetime!