Hi, friends! Have you wondered how you’re going to combine all the things you want on your wedding day, and all those your partner wants, into a single, cohesive vision? Sometimes it’s not easy! It’s great if you have similar ideas and styles in mind, or if one or the other of you is not really set on many details. Sometimes, though, it can seem like you’re coming from two different planets! What do you do then? I have some tips for you, as well as several ideas that might help. Read on to learn more.

Your ceremony

Will you be having a religious ceremony? This limits where you’ll be getting married, obviously, but it also places some other restrictions. (No pre-ceremony drinking, for example.) Whoever you’ve chosen to officiate your ceremony will be able to guide you as to what’s commonly included and how long your ceremony can be, as yours may not be the only wedding there that day. Your planner can also assist with this, as well as with selecting an officiant if you don’t already have one in mind.

The overall mood

Next, the two of you need to start thinking about the overall mood you want to create with your reception. I provide my couples with a long list of adjectives that describe ways they might want their wedding to feel, and then ask them to review these and choose 3 – 4 that best describe the experience they want for their reception. For example, adventurous, coastal, elegant, funky, industrial, romantic, and whimsical are all words that describe the feel of a wedding. This choice helps me start building an overall picture of what the two of you want the wedding to feel like.

Must-haves

Once you’ve described how you want your wedding to feel, it’s time to start discussing what’s important to each of you. You will want to put the most time – and money – toward the things that matter to you the most, whether that’s a killer DJ, catering that’s a foodie’s dream come true, or over-the-top decor. Here’s the key: you have to come up with these individually, and then reconcile your list with your partner’s, because the lists are unlikely to be identical! Lean on your wedding planner here, especially if you don’t think your lists have much in common. We’ve combined many wide-ranging ideas before, and we can do it with your wedding too. 😉 Do you dream of a garden wedding? A casual outdoor affair? Have you always dreamed of having a huge dance party at your reception? This is the time to share all of the things you think about when it comes to your wedding.

Must-not-haves

Sometimes, must-not-haves are more important than those above! If you truly hate wedding bands because you attended a wedding where one ruined the reception, put your money toward a DJ instead. (Or just pick a better band.) Conversely, if you suffered through a slew of boring toasts at someone’s wedding in the past, your planner will recommend you limit all toasts to 3 minutes or so apiece.  (And we’ll work with the DJ to control the mic, just in case someone isn’t respectful of your wishes.) When people have things they definitely don’t want at their wedding, it’s usually a strongly held opinion, so it’s important to speak up about these! Your wedding planner will be happy to accommodate you!

Your love story

Have you written this down? If not, you should! Include how you met, when you wanted to get serious, when each of you knew the other was “the one”, activities and hobbies you share, places that are important to you, restaurants you love, etc. This is valuable in and of itself; you’ll want to record it somewhere and eventually, keep it with your wedding album or other treasured items. 

However, your love story can also be used to guide your wedding planning process. Your likes and dislikes, values, shared experiences, and how you met can all be incorporated into your wedding in some way, and the more personalized your wedding is, the more you and your guests will enjoy it. You’re giving them a window into your relationship that they might not otherwise have. You might feature food you’ve enjoyed as the dinner entree, or make your wine picks for the evening something that you tried and enjoyed while on vacation. The story about when and how you fell in love might be incorporated into your wedding ceremony.

Your values

Your values will play into your wedding planning in a number of ways. If you’re laid back and enjoy outdoor activities, you’re unlikely to choose a hotel ballroom for your reception venue. Conversely, if you enjoy the finer things in life, you’ll be able to eliminate most outdoor activities, especially more casual ones. Your values also show up in the entertainment. If you value others’ feelings and want to demonstrate how much they mean to you, you’ll be concerned about the guest experience, which impacts decor, catering, and entertainment. This could mean something as simple as not choosing a venue far from reasonably priced accommodations, or you might decide to put some of your budget toward late night snacks if you want to keep your guests happy and entertained into the wee hours.

Color!

Finally, once you’ve made decisions about the important things, it’s time to start looking at the fun side of planning. Playing with color is fun! I like to pull from a couple’s favorite colors in clothes and decor when coming up with possible color palettes. You can incorporate just about any color into a wedding color palette, so no need to limit yourself to pastels if they’re not your thing. Let your planner help with the wedding colors, as different shades of colors can evoke different moods. We’re sure to come up with some you may not have considered, but that really work for you. 

Once we’ve gone through the process above, I have enough to work with to begin your design proposal. (I’m working on this while we’re deciding on your vendors.) Did you expect to have to think about all of the above? Probably not! It’s important to take your time and really think about the subjects detailed in this post, though. You don’t get a do-over for your wedding, and going through the process I describe will help you make sure you don’t have any regrets about things you once dreamed about or meant to include. My own process for walking you through creating your wedding vision is even a little more extensive than the above, but it helps me choose potential vendors that can best meet your needs, and it also ensures that the design proposal I complete for you includes everything you want. If you’re ready to discuss your own wedding vision, please drop me a line here, call, or complete this brief form to get started. I can’t want to meet you![/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]